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How To Deal With Negative People: A 3-Step Process

How do you deal with in-laws that you don't get along with? How do you deal with co-workers who drive you up a wall? Or a boss that is constantly putting you down? How do you deal with someone who is ALWAYS.TALKING.SHIT?!

Pretty much, in general, how do you deal with negative people? 

Now, I'm a good combination of practical and spiritual. We are, after all, spiritual beings having a human experience. Therefore we need spiritual tools and perspectives to implement, but, we also need practical human things to help us deal with certain situations. It is all about balance. 
I'm all about spiritual and practical, and in a moment, I'm going to share with you the spiritual side of dealing with pain in the ass people, and a three-step process that will help you deal with that negative person or people in your life. Maybe it's an ex-friend, a boss, a coworker, brother in law, ex-girlfriend, anyone. The three steps that I will share here today, will help you with the spiritual aspects of handling people like this. 

But before I dive into that, I'm about to give you the practical side! And you know what? It may not be 100% what you WANT to hear, but it is 100% what you NEED to hear. 

Please know that this is coming from a place of love. I am not judging you.

I'm not holding this against you at all, but it's important to me to share this practical perspective on dealing with negative and annoying people because I have known REAL suffering in my life. 

I've had REAL problems- child abuse, assault, homelessness, when I was 14 years old, I was held at gunpoint and robbed, I had FOUR guns in my fucking face... I've lived through REAL problems. 

You having negative people in your life, you not getting along with your coworkers, not getting along with your mother in law, your baby daddy being a pain in the ass, your ex-wife wanting more alimony, is not a REAL problem. That is not a problem! 

It's an annoyance. It's an inconvenience. It's sad. It sucks. It's not the best thing....but it is NOT.A.REAL.PROBLEM! 

A Real Problem...

A real problem is the fact that every 23 seconds a child dies from hunger, from starvation. A real problem is that there are young girls in Africa being mutilated. A real problem is global warming. A real problem is sexual assaults. A real problem is racism, segregation, prejudice, life threatening diseases, school shootings, suicide... Those are REAL problems.

The fact that you don't get along with your coworkers or that you're having difficulties with your in laws or who the hell ever, is not a problem. We make things problems that are not really problems!
It may seem like a problem to you, but that's because you're too focused on the human side of things. On the littleness of this world. On sweating the small stuff. In this article, I'm going to share with you a three-step process for letting this shit go, and getting these negative people out of your life, not because I think they're a real problem, but because I want you to stop causing yourself to suffer.

You're no victim here! You not getting along with someone, well, there's a good chance they don't like you either and you have played a part in this annoying ass relationship.

You ain't no victim! You are a co-creator of your life. If someone is in your life that is causing you suffering, you have allowed them into your life!

I'm here to help you overcome this suffering, because life is short! I don't want you spending your precious time on earth, in some stupidness, in littleness.

If the biggest problem you have is that you don't get along with someone, congratulations, you have no problems and you ARE the one percent!

We think that somebody else is the one percent! We think that Bill Gates or Tony Robbins or Oprah, or the president or celebrities or movie stars are the one percent. You are wrong. We, you and I, are the one percent in this world. Ninety nine percent of the rest of the world is living in poverty and scarcity, has no home, has no food, is in war. We are the one percent! You are the one percent and you do not have a problem.

A real problem is not having food, is not having a safe place to sleep at night, is not having a roof over your head, is being raped, is being assaulted, your life being threatened, your children's safety...those, are real problems.

The fact that you don't get along with someone, so and so didn't text you back, he unfriended you, this host doesn't want you on their podcast or whatever... is not a problem. Let's save problems for real things, for things that matter. Let's not call every goddamn little thing a problem . 

So that is the practical perspective that I wanted to share with you before I dove into the spiritual side of things.

Remember, everything I say is coming from a place of love. I'm not judging you. I don't judge anyone. I see ourselves as equal. I see you as me. I believe that we are one mind that has broken off into seven and a half billion little minds. So if I judge you, I'm judging myself. How I view you, is how I view myself so I would never judge you, so please know that what I'm saying here is not to coming from judgement.

It's a perspective shift that I have to share with you because it does get to me at times when people make little things, a BIG hairy deal when they’re really NOT. As someone who HAS gone through real life problems, at any stage of my younger life, I would've gladly exchanged my life with yours. 

Step One : Suspend Judgment

When we view other people as negative, we are actually JUDGING them. We think, “they are not like me, they’re a pain in the ass, their life would be so much better if they weren’t like that, why can’t they just be like this, why can’t they just act like that, why do they do that” etc. etc.

When we suspend judgment, we stop seeing things and people as good or bad, and instead, simply, as it just IS. Sometimes, we project our own insecurities onto other people, thus creating MORE judgment, and judgment is a crappy energy. It is a low-level negative energy, so you feel as if this negativity is coming from THEM, but it is actually coming from YOU.

Even more, when we judge other people, we see them as separate from ourselves. Listen up, we may all look different, we may all have different skin colors, hair color, ethnicities and so on, but we are all EQUAL members of the SAME family. That may be hard to believe and accept, but it’s that belief that keeps us in judgment. We all came from the same place. We were all created from the same Source. Hell yes, we are all ONE! The sooner you start to see those people around you as your brothers and sisters, the sooner you will be free from your judgment and from the negative energy that you feel around them.

This is important because when you are in judgment of others, you put that energy out, and on a subconscious level, they feel it, become defensive, and then their guard is up around you. They start to act in a (seemingly negative) way towards you, as they are subconsciously trying to protect themselves from your judgment. Accept these people for who they are. This is who they are. Accepting them does not mean condoning their behavior, it means no longer punishing them and thinking negatively of them for who they are. Punishing others is not your job anyways. On a soul level, you feel bad for looking down on these people, for seeing them ONLY as the human beings they are, instead of the SPIRITUAL beings they truly are-the brother and sister they are to you on a soul level. When you accept them for who they are, you stop resisting what is, polluting the world with judgmental energy, punishing them, and seeing them as separate from you. 

Step Two: Elevate Your Own Energy

On a metaphysical level, you CANNOT be a match for negativity, if you are not vibrating negativity. Judgement and separation (seeing them as separate from you) right now, has you putting that energy out there, which attracts these people and their behavior. Focus on yourself. Focus on your light. Focus on being the example you want to see in the world. We have lost when we let others rob us of our peace and happiness. You will never be happy, if your happiness is depended on everyone around you behaving a certain way. No matter what is going on, you can still be YOU. You can still be the YOU, you want to see more of in this world. So step number two has two parts. 

Part A, is to focus on yourself and elevating your own energy so you are no longer a match for low level energy. Part B, is to be YOU. Be the light. Don’t let what is going on around you, bring you down. You want happy people in your life? BE that happy person and you will attract more people like that.

Step Three: Turn Your Fears, Worries, Feelings of Judgment & Stresses Over To Your Higher Power

What do you call your Higher Power? God? Universe? Creator? The Mother-Lode? Let’s go with Universe, but of course, call It whatever feels comfortable to you. You can’t go wrong here. Take all of your fears and concerns, and surrender them to the Universe to help you heal these issues. We only know so much. We can only do so much. When you call upon the Universe to help you, and you surrender your worries to It, It can move mountains on your behalf and help guide you to a solution that you couldn’t come up on your own.

Hmm, isn’t that awesome? This shit that you have going on with so and so, whoever it is, call upon your Higher Power for healing, for guidance, to show you what to do. Prayer, is when you TALK to God, or Universe, meditation is when you shut the hell up and LISTEN. Meditation is when you receive guidance on what to do.

Now, you may not receive guidance right away, it may take a day or tow, or some time, but do it anyways. Because the more you surrender, pray and meditate, the more you strengthen the part of your mind, that is connected to you Higher Power, that is where you Highest Self lives, and the better you can receive guidance. Sometimes we’re blocked. We’re mentally constipated. The more you sit in meditation, the more those blocs will dissolve and you will feel connected to something greater than yourself, and you will feel the guidance.

So for step 3, you’re going to talk to whatever Power you believe in and let them know what’s up. Share your grievances, your frustrations, share what Sally did to you today, share about the divorce hearing you’re pissed about, share and share. Then, after you’re done talking finish the taking portion of this step with a prayer of , “Universe, God, I am willing to see this differently. Please heal this for me. Guide me on what is for the greater good. I open my heart and my mind to receive you.”

After you say that prayer, sit in 5 minutes of meditation. Do this process over and over, and the blocks that are coming between you and hearing and feeling the voice of your Higher Power will dissolve more and more.

Before you know it, you will find yourself being more patient, more compassionate, you’ll get certain inklings or ideas or these hunches that pay off greatly.

Thank you so much for reading, I truly hope this article has helped you.

with love & gratitude,
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